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Different people need different teachers.  Just because I helped someone else doesn't mean I'm right for you.  If you read my writings and they resonate with you then I may be who you need to work with.  The next step should be to talk - that's why I offer a FREE 30 minute phone consult.

Getting Un Stuck

I recently had a reading with a long beloved teacher and soul reader friend of mine.  Even though I do this work for others and feel pretty confident in my own “inner GPS” sometimes we all need guidance and perspective from outside ourselves.  In this case, I had initiated some major changes in my life ~ being either an over achiever or a certified lunatic ~ I had pretty much decided to move countries, change my main source of income and end my marriage all in the space of about 9 months.  Now, however, I was feeling stuck ~ all of these changes and even the timing felt in divine alignment and yet the way forward was not clear.  All of my best efforts were turning up roadblocks and resistance so finally I cried “Uncle” and had a reading.  My basic question was “WTF oh dear divine ~ what do I need to shift, transform, unblock etc in myself so that things will start to flow?”  If I was being really honest instead of merely irreverent I would have said “Excuse me but I kinda feel like I’ve been showing up and doing my part and I wanted to see if you’d perhaps fallen asleep or forgotten to show up at work today?”  The answer I got was “nope, nothing, your energy is clear, this isn’t about you, there is just a bunch of stuff that needs to sort out with other peoples karma, timing etc before things can move forward.”  

You might think I’d be happy by that assessment – great it isn’t me – but no that was clearly an unacceptable answer.  You see I would have handled being told I had majorly messed up, had crappy energy, had something to clear, amend for, resolve – anything as long as it was something I had to DO.  I could absolutely handle “it’s all my fault” because then at least then I’d have CONTROL.  Yup, that well worn deeply entrenched desire to have life bend to my will.  You see even though I honestly believe I’m not running the show ~ truly and deeply surrendering to that concept sometimes scares the shit out of me.  That’s where pronoia comes in.   Most of us are familiar with it’s ugly counterpart paranoia.  Pronoia is the belief that everything is conspiring on our behalf.  I don’t know if he invented the concept but I have to give credit to Rob Brezsny for elucidating it.  It’s about being humble enough to accept that sometimes it isn’t about me and yet it’s always about me because if I’m connected to the Divine whole then nothing is ever really going wrong except in my head.  You might want to re-read that sentence.  Nothing is ever really going wrong except in your head.  There is a great quote that I don’t know who to credit other than anonymous, that the Divine only has three answers to all of our problems and questions, “Yes, not yet and No, I love you too much.”  The trick is giving up our personal agenda and timing to allow our lives to be guided by something greater than ourselves. So, I did what anyone on a spiritual path would do ~ I got another reading.  Heck, I figured we all have off days ~ maybe the first reader missed something.  I swear I’m not making this up – different reader, same question, same answer – it’s not you.  Damn.  It was then that I broke down ~ a torrent of tears, frustration and fears.  I could not stand the idea that there was nothing positive or negative I needed to do to resolve my issues.  The beauty of course is that it forced me to do what I needed to have done in the first place – feel my feelings instead of trying to solve my problems.  In that moment of break down or break thru I realized that I wanted the outer world to reward or validate deeply personal inner decisions I had made to change my life.   In fact, the reward was already manifest in the simple beauty and grace of saying “I want something different for my life” and then having the courage to follow thru.  I was just previously too wrapped up in myself to receive the gift.  I was able to shift into a space once more of trust and knowing that we are never given guidance without the means to make it happen and mine too was coming. I offer this story to you in case you’re feeling stuck or like your prayers aren’t being answered or life isn’t cooperating with your vision of how and when things will show up.  Just remember, the Divine only has 3 answers, “Yes, not yet and No, I love you too much.”  Either way it’s all good!  See if that reminder helps to ease your burdens and bring you back in the flow of Divine magnificence.

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